ChichaPlanet

Taken from the PostgreSQL 8.2 release announcement in Slashdot:

I’ve managed to get my PostgreSQL installation tuned to very high speeds simply by switching the database disk over to /dev/null. It runs fast as hell, and the data integrity is basically the same as MyISAM. - greg1104

Ah slashdot, this is why I love you.

We already got a great UNIX, and programming jokes from XKCD, but the new one is about cryptography (funny because I’ve been reading a lot about Cryptography the last 2 weeks).

In case you don’t know, in Cryptography, Alice and Bob are commonly used instead of A and B, as in “Alice delivers a message to Bob”. There are other recurring characters like:

• Eve, the eavesdropper of Alice and Bob’s communication.
• Trent, a trusted third party.
• Mallory, a malicious hacker that can not only intercept Alice and Bob’s communication, but also modify, substitute, delete or introduce new messages, impersonating both Alice and Bob. We know this as Man in the Middle Attack.

By the way, there is also the Alice and Bob rap by “computer science gansta rapper” MC Plus+.

Alice and Bob

Alice is sending her message to Bob
Protecting that transmission is crypto’s job
Without the help of our good friend Trent
It’s hard to get that secret message sent

Work tries to deposit a check of your salary
But with no crypto it’ll be changed by Mallory
You think no one will see what it is you believe
But you should never forget there’s always an Eve

(Chorus)

‘Cause I’m encrypting sh*t like every single day
Sending data across the network in a safe way
Protecting messages to make my pay
If you hack me, you’re guilty under DMCA

DES is wrong if you listen to NIST
Double DES ain’t no better, man, that got dissed
Twofish for AES that was Schneier’s wish
Like a shot from the key, Rijndael made the swish

But Blowfish is still the fastest in the land
And Bruce used its fame to make a few grand
Use ECB and I’ll crack your cipher text
Try CFB mode to keep everyone perplexed

(Chorus)

Random numbers ain’t easy to produce
Do it wrong and your key I’ll deduce
RSA only public cipher in the game
Creating it helped give Rivest his fame

If we could factor large composites in poly time
We’d have enough money to not have to rhyme
Digesting messages with a hashing function
Using SHA-1 or else won’t cause dysfunction

(Chorus)

Nerds.

People that know me personally know that I LOVE my keyboards.

No really, I love them.

I even wrote about them two years ago: IBM Model M - The One True Keyboard.

These keyboards are a triumph of technology. Future generations will talk about Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, the Great Pyramid of Gizah, and the IBM Model M Keyboard. These keyboards are the epitome of human civilization.

Really, they are that good.

I have more than 10 Model M keyboards now, and before you ask: NO, they are not for sale, and NO, I will not give you one. Some day I will die, and my son will inherit the keyboards. Since every single modern keyboard is a piece of utter crap, I want my son to hack with some style.

But now I see another advantage of using a Model-M, you can kill an attacker with it, and it will still work.

Two scientists, Paul Honig and Anne Jan Brouwer, made this discovery replacing an attacker’s head with, well, watermelons.

Not only that, they also discovered that you can defeat an attacker if he uses a lesser keyboard as a weapon.

The IBM Model-M IS mightier than the sword.

Read more in Keyboard Carnage (digg).

Dear Loved One:

By now you probably already know that I am having an affair with the youngest of your daughters. It’s not like I planned this to happen, but I couldn’t help it, she is younger, sexier, prettier and easier. Yes, she is easier than you, and this is a moment in my life when I just want that. I got tired of you playing hard to get. You are just too complicated, with your inner conflicts and your multiple personality disorder trying to be everything to everyone. You just can’t please everybody you know?

Debian: I will always have a place in my heart for you, but I’m with Ubuntu now and we are very happy together. Please stop attacking her. It’s your fault, not hers.

Love.

Gustavo Picon

“Here’s a nickel kid, get yourself a better computer.”

Priceless.