Everyone knows that ISP customer service is really bad, or non existent. Here are some quick tips in how not to suck majourly and lose customers.
1. Don’t fuck up so often. That’s easy. If you provide me with a connection which works, then I won’t call you to fix it. See? Easy profit!
2. Keep a record when you fuck up. If it’s the third time you receive a call from the same person on the same problem, which was “fixed” two times already, don’t just say “we don’t have a record of that”. That means that you suck.
3. Fix it quickly. If it’s the third time you receive a call from me on the same problem, you should know how to fix it.
4. If you’re going to put a captive portal for people who don’t pay. make sure that the only ones who are sent there are those who don’t pay (and make sure that if you accidentally send the wrong people there, that your crappy ASP script doesn’t fail because it wasn’t prepared to get people who don’t owe money).
5. If you are going to call back, at least do it in a 12 hour bracket. If you call back any time after that, you’ll have a pissed off customer.
These five easy steps will help you retain your customers and not force them upon your better, cheaper and faster competitor, which doesn’t suck as much. Thanks a lot!
